My free gifts keeps falling out - please glues them on proper.
Banks invested recklessly in property bubble. No money for glues now. Get own.
Turns out they weren't free gifts at all that were falling out of my trousersiz. They were my knackers. Found out when I tried to glue them back on myself. Ow! And so everything is grand now.
Yes there is a warnings for safety now special consolation prizes to you now.